If freedom of speech is absolute, how come it's not applied for private spaces and for the Internet?

Child pornography

That’s what it is. You have no right to use other people’s stuff. If people let you use their stuff, they can tell you how you can use it, and they can tell you to stop using it any time they want.

If you’re wondering why free speech doesn’t apply to the internet, it’s because you have no right to use other people’s stuff for free.

Do intellectuals who peddle pseudoscientific tripe like simulation theory ever stop and think they are just dumb NPCs for Illuminati bot wars?

Terroristic threats

Threats of violence

Fraud

Swimming world body to banish athletes and supporters of doping-fueled event in Las Vegas - AP News

No freedom is absolute.

Revenge porn

Perjury

Can you share some of your favorite jokes that are not well-known but always make people laugh?

Freedom of speech does not apply to:

You have freedom of speech. If I loan you my computer, I can tell you not to use it for certain things, because it’s mine, you have no right to use it, and if I give you permission to use it I can tell you what you can and can’t do with it.

Conspiracy

SpaceX launches Falcon 9 from Vandenberg SFB Saturday afternoon - KSBY News

Revealing classified information

Insider trading

You have freedom to travel. If I loan you my car, I can tell you not to take it out of town, because it’s mine, you have no right to use it, and if I give you permission to use it I can tell you what you can and can’t do with it.

What is your craziest/worst Halloween story?

Trade secrets

And much, much more.

False advertising

Trump's huge bill includes immediate gift for layoff-ridden Bay Area tech - SFGATE

HIPAA violations

Insurrection